Horror Movie Cliches: Halloween Edition-
I am going to go through and list off the top 10 horror movie cliches to pay homage to one of my favorite holidays (with plenty of snark and sarcasm mixed in of course.)
10. Nudity and Sex Always Equals Death-
Horror films always have people, specifically young adults, getting it on. As a result most horror flicks push the parent approved message of abstinence. Don’t believe me? Then why does the films blond “whore” get axed early in the film, and the prudish but keen minded brunette always survive?
9. For some reason the black character always dies-
If you think promiscuous blonde’s have it bad, then catch up on your horror films because the non-white character (yes there is usually only one non-white person) is even more likely to meet their bloody end before the credits roll.
8. Hiding From Death-
Now that we have discussed the cliches as to who will die first, lets take a look at how they die. Namely cornering themselves by trying to hide like children specifically under the bed, in the closet or by running up the stairs. We get it, they’re scared. But a game of hide and seek is not likely to tire out un-dead killers, or vicious space aliens now is it? What they should really do is get the hell out. There seems to be only one way out of these brilliant hiding places, and that is in a body bag.
7. Two Left Feet-
Sometimes the victims do decide to run, assuming they can escape their hiding place, more power to them. However, problem is that this brings up another horror movie cliche. It seems that no movie character is capable of running more than a dozen feet without face-planting. Equally cliche is the fact that this sprint does not give the victim any distance over the attacker who is almost always walking.
6. Knives Only-
Is there no 5th amendment in the United States of the horror movie world, save for zombie films? Granted it is called the slasher genre for a reason, this means that it is not likely for anyone to be taken down by lead. Leaving steal as the leading cause of injury. Why doesn’t anyone ever own a gun? A notable exception to this cliche is the Police, but having a gun never seems to do them much good anyway.
5. Useless Authorities-
Carrying on that thought from the last entry, this cliche has been established for so long that we don’t even ask ourselves why people don’t run to the police anymore. We expect that anyone with a badge might as well have a target on their back, as the killer usually likes to take them out in a specifically gruesome way.
4. False Scares-
Everyone knows that the first half-hour or so of a horror movie is all build up and it’s too early for anyone to croak… with the possible exception of the opening ten minutes. To keep up the tension, fake scares are sprinkled in to keep us guessing, as well as, to use near the end to keep the audience paying attention. Just think of all the times the characters “happen” to run into each other at the beginning of the film and that sharp screeching sound kicks you in the ass.
3. Middle of Nowhere-
The only horror films to take place in open environments, or at the mall, have zombies. The reason for isolated, and creepy, locations is simple. It cuts the victims off from society and takes the characters, as well as the viewers, outside of their comfort zones. These abandoned settings are a character in and of themselves.
1. Why Won’t He Die?
All horror villains have to come back again after being killed, for an en cour. Moreover, they always somehow survive, leaving the door open for a sequel.
Well, there ya have it, the top 10. The “research” for this post was way too much fun, but I have definitely hit my Horror movie watching quota for a while.