Madness and Bad Hair

It has been a very sad few weeks in which I have not been able to go see any movies because I have been so crazy busy. For the last three weeks I have been nannying two babies and let me tell you what, these two hellions are the greatest birth control I have ever experienced.

If this is how you feel about basketball, that works!

       

  For those of you who follow basketball, you know that March Madness has started. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it is essentially like college basketball olympics. There are a ton of games as teams across the country compete against one another- it is single elimination, so one loss and the team is out of the tournament. People love March Madness because of its pure unpredictability. In college, basketball is a lot more fluid and good teams lose to less talented ones every year. It is because of this that people love to bet on who is going to win and they create long and detailed brackets to see who can come the closest. This year Warren Buffett offered 1 Billion dollars (yes, Billion) to anyone who could create a perfect bracket. The tournament is not even over yet and there is no one left who could compete for the money.
    So, apart from basketball happening right now I had an ego destroying experience today. I was tossing out some old junk when I ran across some formal dance pictures from high school -homecoming, prom- that kind of thing. It almost hurt to look at them. It was so embarrassing, I looked like such an idiot. So, to make myself feel better I found some others to keep me and my old picture company.

1. Bruno Mars-

Bruno has obviously mastered the severely awkwardly posed prom picture. Not only is the fro looking suave, but his flower necklace perfectly matches his dates dress… such a gentleman. I hope this pose was not their idea, because it looks like his date is trying to restrain him.

2. Sarah Palin

Aren’t we glad that this type of 80’s hair didn’t last long, though to be fair- she still wears hers with extra, extra hairspray today. Boy, does she look happy in this picture- a nice prediction of her future (that is her husband in later life) or maybe she is just horrified by his bowtie.

3. Michelle Obama

I am not sure why the chair prom pose was ever a thing, or why someone thought it was a good idea, because it creates a weird separation between the couple. I especially like the fact that it is a giant wicker chair. But the blazer she is wearing in this picture foreshadows her style consciousness as the President’s wife.

4. Brad Pitt

Here we have another victim of the painfully awkward forced chair pose, Brad looks more like he is about to get married then go to a high school prom in this picture. I also am enjoying the nice 80’s puffy sleeved, off the shoulder dress and conspicuous corsage.

5. Will Ferrell- He hasn’t changed much

6. Ellen Degeneres
There are so many things I could point out about this picture- the dress, the hair, the shoes… oh how we wish we could forget the outfit choices of the 70’s and 80’s.

Sorry Ladies- Men Who Crushed Women’s Dreams

A couple years ago my friend and I were playing “Marry, Date or One Night Stand.” All this game consists of is thinking up names of celebrities and asking the other which one they’d prefer to do with that celebrity. One of the people she asked me was Anderson Cooper. My answer to this was marry, in which she proceeded to inform me “You know he is gay right? So at best, if he is really drunk, that is a one night stand.” My heart doesn’t hurt, more like my ovaries, because that reporter is the epitome of silver fox. Over the years I have had little T.V. or movie crushes on people only to find out later that they would never go near lady-bits. So to save you ladies from wasting your time daydreaming over men who have prettier boyfriends than I could ever hope for, this weeks post is to save you… not heartache, more like fantasy destruction.

Ladies love attractive men. Those heartthrobs that really get their engines going. And if you ask certain women, a good man is hard to find. Which makes it even more heartbreaking for women when these good men end up coming out of the closet. Tragic for the ladies, we know. But a big win for some of the guys out there. No?

1. Neil Patrick Harris

—– Cute and dapper with a naughty glint in his eye, all the women can’t help but to love the “How I Met Your Mother Star” and it doesn’t hurt that he is hot as hell too. But so is his husband, David Burtka.

2. Ricky Martin

—– Was there ever a time when Ricky Martin wasn’t hot? Though this is somewhat old news, Ricky Martin broke hearts in several different countries at his announcement. He drove women crazy in the 90’s with his leather pants and sultry voice. But the crooner only performes privately for his boyfriend these days.

3. Zachary Quinto

—– The devastatingly handsome star of the two Star Trek movies took his name off the list of many women in 2011 in order to combat the rising gay teen suicides. His current boyfriend, Jonathan Groff who plays Jesse Snt. James, the bad boy on Glee, could be listed separately on his own merits.

4. Matt Bomer

—– The extremely handsome bad boy on “White Collar” teases women with his devastatingly good looks and trouble maker air about him. His deep blue eyes and baritone voice makes him one hell of a hottie.

5. Anderson Cooper

—–The dashing journalist is worth more than a country and has ladies swooning through his shows. He is arguably the classiest man in Hollywood. However, those baby blue eyes are saved for men only.

Ladies, if any one of these guys is your heartthrob… then pick a different one.

Bad Bitches: Female Villains

Recently I was talking to some friends about our favorite movie villains, yes, this is the kind of geeky things I talk about with my friends, and some were listing things like Darth Vader and The Joker– the typical male villains that are widely known and appreciated. Though these villains are fantastic and made it onto my “Villains we can’t forget” list (if you haven’t read it and want to click here), there is just something about a really well done female baddie that I absolutely love. I think on some level, we kind of expect the evil person in most movies to be a man and when we get a really well acted crazy ass evil women it is somewhat unexpected and even more jarring. So without further ado- some of my favorite women baddies.


Bellatrix Lestrange 

     – Helena Bonham Carter has played an array of colorful villainesses on screen, but her Bellatrix Lestrange character even rivals Mrs. Lovett of “Sweeney Todd” as Lestrange she delightfully tortures Harry Potter and his friends in the “Harry Potter” series. By joyfully taunting, torturing and killing any witch or wizard who stands in her way, all in the name of the dark lord, Bellatrix Lestrange becomes a frightfully deranged villain to reckon with.
Annie Wilkes

     – Kathy Bates channeled the ultimate crazed fan-girl to a terrifying degree when she played Annie Wilkes in “Misery.” At first she seems to be a Godsend to the handsome but injured writer whom she rescued from the snowstorm. No one anticipated that the soft-spoken and unassuming woman would maim him when he tried to leave her. The quiet menace and frenzy hidden under Annie Wilkes was such a feat that it earned Kathy Bates an award and much praise for her performance, no doubt causing all celebrities to think twice before taking assistance from strangers.
Wicked Witch of the West

     – This villain is literally the witch and baddie of our nightmares, she was the original scary monster that was going to get us in the dark while we slept if we didn’t have a nightlight to protect us as children. The Wicked Witch of the West was as terrifying as they come with her hunched back and evil glare as she sent her animal minions to taunt Dorothy and Toto. Her fearful cackle remains unrivaled. Thankfully, water was a handy and convenient weapon to defeat her and end her reign in Oz. But don’t pretend like you didn’t keep a little by your bed… just in case.
Miranda Priestly 

     – If you have ever seen “The Devil Wears Prada” then you surely know why Miranda Priestly makes the list of best female villains. Meryl Streep plays this fashonista in a way that I do not think anyone else could have done. She is called the “dragon lady” boss, so naturally I thought she would be loud and bitchy. But instead, Streep takes this powerful woman and never speaks above a soft tone, but somehow, this makes her character absolutely terrifying. Her soft tone, withering looks and the slight inflection in her voice, makes this immaculate woman terrifying, a force that cannot be challenged and even made me feel uncomfortable watching it.

Alex Forrest
     – Alex Forrest seemed like the perfect woman: sexy, brilliant, carefree, and open-minded. She didn’t even mind having an affair with a married man, Dan Gallagher, in the 1987 film “Fatal Attraction.” Because of this, Dan had no qualms about cheating on his wife, for he was sure the affair with Alex would not last. And that was his big mistake because Alex refused to let him go. She began to stalk him and threatened to kill both him and his family. Alex Forrest is a stark reality to men who might consider doing something stupid like this.
Nurse Mildred Ratched

     – Watching nurse Mildred Ratched in “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” will make you think twice about believing the old adage about nurses “the angels of mercy.” She not only humiliates and controls her patients, but she also drugs them into submission. Even when Randle McMurphy (Jack Nicholson) defied and physically attacked her, she still comes out victorious and exacted her revenge by subjecting him to a lobotomy.

Mystique
     – Mystique constantly reinvents herself… literally. This mutant can take on any appearance without anyone noticing the transformation. She is cunning, manipulative and vengeful. Her character hardly speaks, but is fueled by hate and is determined to use all of her stealth and considerable strength to bring about the end of the human race.

Giant Destructor: Acid-Trip Colored Building Blocks

When it comes to me and Lego’s there are two things I could do with them when I was a kid. 1. Build a bunch of tiny little houses (because that is all I had the creativity and ability to build). 2. I would set all the little homes I made spaced around the living room… then trample through them, throwing Lego’s and screeching in my best Godzilla/ giant monster- impression.
With that said, when I heard about the Lego movie I scoffed and thought the premise sounded absolutely ridiculous and put it out of my mind as a stupid child movie on par with “Barbie’s Great Adventure.” Eventually I saw a preview for this movie and thought that possibly it might not be a bust after all, there seemed to be a few funny moments and a lot of famous names, but again, I quickly forgot about it. As soon as the movie came out however, I couldn’t get people to shut up about it so I went last week with family to see why everyone is loosing their shit about it.
The Lego Movie–
   
In regards to this movie, I have a little bit of mixed feelings about it. Everyone was just raving about the film so I went into the theater with very high expectations. The Lego Movie is about a very structured society, who go about their business as they are told to do, but there are a small group of Lego resistors who are trying to stop the president from freezing the world as they know it.

This movie is fairly clever and funny with lots of humor at every turn. The humor in this movie is for the adults, they are jokes that, for the most part, kids will not understand- so the humor is for the adults, the animation and silliness is for the kids. My only commentary on the humor is that, at times, it almost felt a little forced- like they were trying a little too hard to make it super funny. The animation in this movie is very impressive, everything is animated Lego’s, so when a character jumps in the ocean, little blue Lego’s come flying up, like the back-splash. As impressed as I was with this, because it is fairly amazing, it made me a little bit headache-y from time to time. Because it is animated, and the Lego’s move so fast, the fast dashing colors gave me an acid-trip headache. Overall, however, this movie is cute, funny and had a decently unexpected surprise ending that gave the film more depth than I expected.

The Academy Awards-
     “The Big Show” also known as the Oscars took place last night in Hollywood California. If you missed them than you missed out on one of the best Oscar shows that has taken place in years. I might be biased because I do love the silliness of Ellen, but that lady can host one hell of a funny show! She had a great mix of scripted, improvisation and down right ridiculous.

During the show she tweeted out a selfie of herself and some of the biggest celebrities in the world resulting in the temporary breakdown of Twitter, she had pizza ordered and delivered to the theater having Brad Pitt pass out plates while she handed out pizza and she dressed up as Galinda the good witch from Wizard of Oz. — A quick recap of the winners. The Great Gatsby won the costume and set design awards. Gravity won all of the other technical, visual and cinematography awards. 12 Years A Slave won for best supporting actress- Lupita Nyong’o and Best Picture. Dallas Buyers Club won for best supporting actor- Jared Leto and best actor- Matthew McConaughey. Cate Blanchett won best actress for Blue Jasmine.